On Sawyer

Of my three sons, it's five year-old Sawyer whom I know the least. Aside from the few months right after his birth and several week-long stretches since, we have had little time to get to know each other; so, spending this summer together has afforded me an extra special treat in this respect. However, because all of our previous interactions were short-lived and subsequently jammed-packed with fun, Sawyer's expectations of his summer have been that he would be attending some sort of a summer camp complete with a host of daily activities and a bevy of new toys. Of course that's not been the case. I have to work at least for a few hours each morning which means he has to play with his brothers and stepsisters.

This also means that Sawyer is his true self, testing the boundaries, fighting with siblings, pouting about chores--normal kid stuff. Even so, I don't mind because it gives me the opportunity to be a true parent as opposed to the "good-time dad" of before. And on a larger scale, his behavior is minor in comparison to other aspects of his personality. To be more specific, the kid is hilarious.

My mother claims that, of all my boys, Sawyer acts the most like me at his age. I suppose, but I find it hard to believe I was ever as gut-busting funny as Sawyer. Where he comes up with some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is beyond me, but I'm of the impression that as he grows up, Sawyer will be that guy who's always making the wisecracks from the sidelines of every situation. He's off to a good start anyway, aided by the way he pronounces things, replacing most of the hard consonant sounds with w's and r's. Think Jersey Shore meets Elmer Fudd.

Here are a few of my favorite quips thus far:

On Playing Star Wars Video Games

"Suck wed, Storm Twoopers!"

On Asking For A Glass Of Water

Sawyer: "Can I have a gwass of water, Dad"
Me: "Sure. You can get it yourself."
Sawyer: "Come on. Hewlp me ou' here, buddy!"

On Complimenting His Stepsister's Gaming Skills

"You'wre weelly good at kilwing peopwle, Alwie."

On Being Confused

"What du helw!" (He was corrected on this one.)

On Me Not Letting Him Have His Way

"Dad, you'wre fiwred!"

On Getting Some Sleep

"I took a wilwy, wilwy, wilwy, ...wilwy wong nap."

On His Musical Preferences
"I wike big butts and I cannot wie ...Dad, I said butts."

On Passionately Expressing Religious Dogma

"You'wre gowing to helw, Alwie!" (I weighed in on this debate if you know what I mean.)

On Crying

"My eyes were weaking. They do that swumtimes."

And that's just the ones I can remember. I'm sure over the coming weeks there will be more, but for now the only thing I can say is, I wuv my Sawyer.