Mr. Squiggle's Wonder Emporium: Being Dad Zero at Mom 2.0 - Part 1

*This is the first in a three-part series about this outsider's brief experience at the Mom 2.0 Summit held in Houston, February 18 - 20th


Part 1: Mr. Lady, The Redneck Mommy, The Bloggess and other stars

So there I was on a Friday, just minding my own business when a text message lit up my phone. “Do you want to go with me to Mom 2.0 tonight?” It was from Mr. Lady and as a testament to her generosity, she was offering to act as my blogging sugar momma for the evening despite joining a growing litany of bloggers who have met me in person only to realize I am far less interesting in the flesh than on Clark Kent’s Lunchbox (hence my real duel identity).

Of course the great irony in all this is that not twenty minutes before, I had been exchanging emails with stay-at-home dad advocate and RebelDad writer, Brian Reid, about both the lack of equal consideration given to dad bloggers and our shared concern that parent blogging is becoming increasingly synonymous with consumerism. Now, it appeared that I would soon be cavorting with the same contingent of mommy bloggers I claim to “hate” so much.

Enroute to the event, Mr. Lady suggested we stop for shots, or as she referred to it, “liquid courage.” After all, her site is called Whiskey In My Sippy Cup; still, why anyone of Mr. Lady’s stature and talent would need two shots of the stuff as a prerequisite to meeting her peers was beyond me. Here’s a woman who was among Babble’s "Top 50 Mommy Bloggers," who was approached by a major literary agency to write a book, and who, by the virtue of a single, gut-wrenchingly honest post, has become a regular speaker at BlogHer.

Most bloggers can only dream of such achievements, and yet for all her accolades, Mr. Lady seems unaffected. This is not to imply that she isn’t proud of her accomplishments, but she sees them for what they are without taking herself too seriously. In fact, it wasn’t until her appearance at BlogHer that Mr. Lady even realized there was such a thing as a mommy blog. Before then, the majority of her audience consisted of computer geeks drawn to her coolness and political conservatives fond of her intelligent liberal debates. Today, even with the mommy blog label, she is pleased to say this is still the case.

Despite my matching Mr. Lady’s whiskey with two shots of tequila (daddy blogging has made me a lightweight), it wasn’t enough to smooth out my awkward interaction which was the conversational equivalent of a child’s uneven leaps as they attempt to avoid the cracks that are said to inflict spinal injuries on their mothers. By contrast, Mr. Lady was at complete ease, being used to going back and forth with all types of people throughout the blogosphere, and as we talked, she provided a rundown on various friends of hers that we were about to join shortly. This unobtrusive exposé included a behind-the-(computer)screen glimpse as to which blogs fully represent the personas of their creators, and which show only a small facet of an even more complex person at the keyboard. In either of these cases, what remained a unified constant was that both types of bloggers retained an authenticity in their voices that resonated just as equally with the large readerships they have earned over the years.

After drinks we headed to meet the group at FotoFest where the Defining a Movement exhibit was being held. As I stepped out of the car, the liveliness of the party inside was evident based on the volume of conversation flooding the parking lot with the same intensity as the light that emanated from large bay doors leading to the former warehouse turned gallery. That volume jumped a notch as soon as Mr. Lady walked in. She needed no introduction, nor did she need an official Mom 2.0 name badge worn by the summit’s attendees. Quite frankly, given the all-star collection of bloggers in the room, no one did (well, except me that is).

Before being swallowed up by her eager crowd of friends, Mr. Lady introduced me to her virtual sister, the charmingly charismatic Tanis of Redneck Mommy fame. After a brief exchange, Tanis offered to escort me around by asking which moms I’d like to meet. Admittedly, I felt a little overwhelmed by the opportunity, but I gathered my bearing in mentioning Greeblemonkey. A year earlier, I won her inaugural photo contest and thought it would be nice to thank her again in person; plus we share an admiration for the local Denver band The Autumn Film. However, she was nowhere in sight. What about Finslippy? Not in the area either.

Oh, I know—my neighbor across town, The Bloggess who as fate would have it, just happened to be passing by us. Three seconds latter I was face to face with one of the funniest ladies in the blogosphere, but, I’m afraid my enthusiasm over the moment must have made me seem as if I had yelled “boo” while jumping out of pantry based on the surprised expression on The Bloggess’s face. (Don’t let the curlers fool you; she’s a pretty lady.)

But alas, the reputation of Clark Kent’s Lunchbox hardly measures up to the likes of The Redneck Mommy and The Bloggess, and they both were quickly absorbed into the circles of conversation swirling around us. This, of course, was fine. I had no intention of making anyone feel they needed to babysit me, especially moms who were enjoying a few days away from their parental duties. Instead I bantered with Julie Marsh of The Mom Slant about my day job as a male escort (read why she's not a "mommy blogger"), and I had my picture taken by another Houstonian notable, Imelda Bettinger (she’s a keen photographer and not because she kept me from blinking).

At this point, it occurred to me that I was "through the looking glass" so to speak, with some of the most vaunted names in the parenting blogosphere standing only feet away, no longer as names, but as people. The thought made me chuckle. Then I strolled through the exhibit’s collection of impressive photographs, and in doing so, reverted to what I normally am when it comes to these ladies’ blogs—a lurker.

Tomorrow Part 2: Finslippy, Mightygirl and how I become Mr. Squiggle

Mr. Lady photo and The Redneck Mommy logo are from Babble's "Top 50 Mommy Bloggers." The Bloggess's photo courtesy of A Good Husband


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Comments (26)

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All I'm saying is "thank you for being my escort for the evening." I think I would have fallen over and died dead if you hadn't held my hand.
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
You my dear, are a riot. If there was any hand-holding it was the other way around. I should be thanking you.
It sounds like you really are in awe of these bloggers. I'm glad you got to meet them. It's nice that you supported Mr Lady, too. :)
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
I don't always agree with them, but I do respect them for what they've accomplished. It was a treat for me, but don't listen to Mr. Lady - she's a rock star among this bunch.
Tequila? Quite a step up from the Michelob Ultra you had while in the presence of this fellow daddy blogger in Austin the weekend before.
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
Trust me, I'm wishing I hadn't tried to keep up with her. She could put a Ukrainian mob boss under the table. I think becoming a daddy-blogger has turned me into a lightweight.
Dude, I was so disappointed I didn't get a better chunk of time to get to know you better. Plus I was just starting to plot up ways to get you to give me your fabulous blue velvet jacket.

Wink.
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
Me too, but I was grateful for what I could get. Maybe I shouldn't be such a chicken and start twittering more. Then you'll be all, "leave me the hell alone you chucklehead!" And I'll go, "No, make me." And then you'll see how lame I really am.

Yeah, that jacket. I swear it was more popular than me. I think it's going to start it's own a blog. Call it Blue Crush.
I'm truly jealous you were able to meet these awesome ladies. Even more jealous that they were able to meet you. So when did the Jersey Shore kids show up, you know to class the joint up a bit?
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
With your vibrant personality and sense of humor, you would've fit right in with this bunch. In fact I'm jealous I couldn't have been more like you - instead, people mistook me for a funeral director.

Jersey Shore kids? You're thinking of MommaMia 2.0 - The next one's in Newark.
You did a lot better than I would have. I would have needed an intravenous paxil/tequila drip to go to something like that. I'm not good meeting people in person. It's much easier behind the safety of my laptop.
Christopher Johnson's avatar

Christopher Johnson · 785 weeks ago

I tend to not think of myself as well known at all. This is probably why nobody would even figure out "who" I was if I ever attended a conference. Of course, this would not stop me from socializing and perhaps "that" will get me a bit more noticed in the blogosphere.

Can't wait for the next installment.
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
Not being a well-known has many advantages, like not being under scrutiny all the time. Plus, for a lot of these women, this is their job which I think would take the fun out of blogging for me.

Oh, and in my attempts to socialize, the blazer I was wear made more of a splash than I did. You'll see in part 2.
Swimmin with the big lady fish, that must have been pretty impressive. I think we need to hear more about Blue Crush.
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
You will get all the details on Blue Crush in part 2
I'm glad we had the proper masculine representation... that's you! Good job, Dude!!!
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
Ha! Well, sad to say, I wasn't exactly George Clooney.
I'm so happy for you Ron! No one better to rep the dads than you dude. I'm not bitter... I never get any type of recognition like that, why? Why I ask? Damn you! jk

For real dude, that's awesome... glad you had a good time!
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
Hey, it was pure luck. Right place, right time... all the thanks goes to Mr. Lady.
I'm glad that Shan introduced us :-) and that you had a good time, I enjoyed chatting with you, however so briefly.
:-)

how was the bus ride?
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
I'm glad too. Shan said you're a real hoot. And the bus ride? That part was quiet; it's what happened after that was interesting.
I am very curious to read part two. I have wanted to go to one of the convention for a while but since I have a penis I always feel like maybe I would not be welcome.
But did you sit on Mr. Lady's lap when you first met her, like Weaselmomma did in Chicago? :)

Sounds like a great time!
1 reply · active 785 weeks ago
Are you kidding me? Really!? I'll bring it up next time I talk to her - both of them! =-)
i love redneck mommy (even though she's blown me off the few times i've thrown her handle in a tweet). i'm also into the blogess and have no trouble no letting the curlers fool me. in fact, they never did to begin with. she's lovely. wanna run you down again soon like we did the other week.
1 reply · active 784 weeks ago
Redneck Mommy is a hoot. She's really nice too - just add her on FB. Shoot me a date and time to talk - anytime.

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