Once Upon A Time...A Year Ago Today

A year ago today I became the happiest man ever. A year ago today Ashley and I were married. That she has managed to endure me through sickness and in health, for richer and for (definitely) poorer, through rants about your not pre-washing the dishes, in my whiny moments of self-pity, despite my never using a turn signal on the freeway, when I make comments about your having too much junk in storage, during lectures about over-spending your lunch budget, knowing I have a secret comic book collection, conscious of my assortment of many other minor flaws, till death do us part, is a testament of your love. A love I will never take for granted. You have made me a better and more complete person, and your faith in me has sustained me when I've wanted to quit.

I love you, Ashley and will for eternity.

Below is the story of how we met through a collection of excerpts from out blogs and emails that we included in our wedding program.

Once Upon a Time

The Story of Ron and Ashley

How did Ron & Ashley’s story begin? Well, it all started with a boy, a girl and a three-day trial on Match.com…

Ron’s headline & profile

“The Biggest Jerk You'll Ever Meet... and the Computer Says We're A Match!"

…and the description of himself and his “Ideal Match”

I’m thirty-five. I live at home with my mom. My hair is thinning and my beer gut isn’t getting any smaller. I have a 1972 pinto that I painted to look like the General Lee on The Dukes of Hazard. I joined match cause this was an easy way to find hot girls without all the work of talking to them first. So basically what I’m looking for is a girl who’s totally hot, has a good job, buys me stuff, lets me hang at her place and drink beer, lends me her car, gives me money, doesn’t nag me and really digs strip clubs. If I turned up in your search then the computer thinks we’re a match and we should totally hook up.

The ’72 Pinto caught the eye of Ashley who was on the last day of free trial to the internet dating site. When Ashley & Ron did “totally hook up” for a first date, they were anxious to meet for the first time.

Ashley: I’m trying to be cautiously optimistic and failing miserably. I’m all out excited. We're going to have the cutest story if we end up together. And isn't that how all the best relationships start? With a cute story?

Of course, Ashley did her best to suppress her neurotic tendencies.

Ashley: As I got closer to restaurant, I got more nervous and was alternately practicing my smile in the rearview mirror, and talking to myself. Then telling myself to stop talking to myself. Then telling myself that telling myself to stop talking to myself was still, technically, talking to myself. It's complicated being me.

And it was the first of a great many dates for the both of them.

Ashley: We went and saw "Stardust", which was an awesome movie. We both laughed at same stuff. He smells yummy. He has good ADD drugs. So I guess this is all working out well so far. Le sigh, le swoon, le float.

Ron: It was another great date night with Ashley and we left the theater acting like a couple of goof-balls knowing we don't have to resent all those happy couples that used to make us gag. Now they can now resent us.

Ashley: Fourth date sounds just ridiculous because surely we have known each other longer. Surely we've been hanging out for years sharing stories, creating inside jokes, listening, laughing, commiserating. This cannot be the fourth date.

Ron (first Dinner with Ashley’s girls): It was the first dinner Ashley ever cooked and it was delicious. Without warning, her adorable girls opened their mouths uttering an apocalyptic noise described only the book of Revelations Being that it was very early in our dating relationship, I felt it inappropriate to curb the girls charming behavior. I quietly picked another piece of broccoli from my hair and placed it back on my plate. To my relief Ashley acted as I would’ve expected a parent to. "Here we go," I thought as her mouth opened to deliver a gentle rebuff given that company was present. Instead, Ashley unleashed the sound of Hell itself, launching a fresh round of broccoli and mashed potatoes into my hair. High fives all around.

"So this condition,” I asked, untangling my hair from rapidly drying gravy. “Is it genetic?"

And through all the time together they started to fall in love.

Ashley: I'm sorry if I'm still somewhat mute. Partly I just feel comfortable enough with you to just be quiet. Partly I don't want to start a verbal waterfall that I can't stop. Part of me is really scared, but a bigger part of me is telling that part to shut up. So yeah, there's a little mini-war in my head that I'm trying to silence. Meanwhile I can't think of anything I've enjoyed more than just being with you.

Ron: In all seriousness, Ashley's been great and I love her. She's made me feel very special even though she's baked a life-size birthday cake that she plans to jump out of while wearing the Princess Lea bikini costume from Return of the Jedi. What a swell gal!

Ashley (using quotes from Ron): The immediacy and intensity of this is just completely serendipitous. I hesitate to use his words without his consent, but he has a skill to describe things better than I can. I've never met anyone who can do this, who can read my mind and speak it more eloquently to the point where all I want to say is "Um, yeah that" every time he speaks. But here is my very favorite thing he's ever written, and that I've ever read. It perfectly describes how I feel.

"...It's like a knocking over a bucket of red paint and watching with unconscious helplessness as it runs all over the floor and under the doors into the other rooms..."

Then it finally happened...

Ron: Well, it's finally happened. Ashley asked me to marry her. After months of anticipation and many sleepless nights my worries of losing such a wonderful woman are over. I'm such a lucky guy! When she got down on one knee, I was stunned.

"No, no, no, you are not doing this... Are you doing this? Please oh please I hope you are doing this!" My head was spinning. She pulled out the black velvet box and opened the lid!

"Ron, you have made me the happiest woman in the world and I don't think I could ever live the rest of my life without you." Her eyes were sparkling from the reflection caused by the moon's light on the ring. "Will you marry me?"

The facts may be a little backwards, but in any case, one of them said yes. Of course, the relationship only got deeper from there…

Ashley: Even when everything in my life feels like its swirling around and upside down... even when nothing make sense and all the answers just bring about more questions... I know that he will love me and remind me of everything that is right with the world, and right with me. I never thought I could, but I now believe in love and its power to make me maybe not a better person, but certainly a more complete one.

…even when they were apart.

Ashley: And of course, I'll miss him. I look forward to missing him. I told him about a week ago "I can't wait to miss you," and I truly meant it. I've never had that long absence with joy at the end. Dread, disappointment, frustration yes. But never joy. Having someone to miss is a great luxury to me and I wouldn't trade it for all the solitary eyebrow plucking in the world

Ron: Passengers from the plane jockeyed for position around the baggage carousel, but my mind was too preoccupied with what Noah, Harrison and Sawyer were doing, how my parents were feeling, and about making money to pay bills. But in any case, I was home. Not because I returned to my daily dose of regular issues to contend with, but because, unlike the previous returns from seeing my boys, there was someone wonderful waiting to hug me when I walked in the door. As much as I missed my sons, I was equally happy to be missed while I was away.

Today the two of them will pledge their love before family and friends.

Ashley: Now I've got someone who loves me so completely, who knows me so well, who makes me laugh and makes me think and makes me 83% happier than I ever thought possible. I know that as long as he's by my side, I won't care what path I'm on. As long as he lets me love him as well as he's loved me, then the next 30 years will without a doubt be the best and I hope for at least another 30 after that.

Ron: What she said, except I’m closer to 92% happier…

…and they lived happily ever after. I guess internet dating really does work.

This was the song we danced to during the reception, and it tells the rest of the story - a story that will continue for the rest of our lives.

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